Messages from the sideline

I just posted this to the Coaches section of the portal, and posting here for parents as well, because yelling constantly from the sidelines can be distracting to players, and can contradict instructions from coaches. I also encourage parents to listen to how coaches are communicating with your kids, and consider if you might want it to change.

Language I hear from from both the coach and parent sides of the pitch, almost every weekend:

• "get in there!" "shoot!" "pressure!" "push her back!" "stay on him!"
• "why weren't you there?" "why didn't you take that shot?" "we worked on this in practice, why can't you do it today?" "why did you do that?"
• "you messed up that corner kick, so you're coming out"
• "ref, that's bull---" "come ON, ref" "how was that offside?!"

Coaches and parents think their messages are helpful, motivating and encouraging, but they might actually be distracting, shaming or harmful. Consider if your - or the coach's - communication is:

• shaming (especially for making mistakes, because making mistakes is literally the best way for kids to learn & grow)
• distracting (constant directions distract, they don't help)
• disrespectul 

Sports teams can teach kids lessons they can use in life, now and in the future. Consider reflecting on your behavior and underlying messages and try to be a model so that kids learn:

• respect for self and others
• leadership, ownership, decision-making
• making mistakes is acceptable and healthy 
• resilience
• a lifelong love of being active

Statiscally most kids playing soccer today won't become a D1 athlete, get a college scholarship or become a professional athlete. But all kids need healthy life skills. Parents, how can you model respectful sideline behavior?

There is a growing body of research and literature on this (& related) subjects, these are just a few that I am familiar with:

• Soccer Parent Resource Center (free membership from SFYS (register)) - specifically The Sideline Project
• The Sideline by Alan Stein, Jr. and Rich Czeslawski
• Let Them Play by Jerry Lynch
• Take Back the Game by Linda Flanagan 
• Positive Coaching Alliance
• Never Enough by Jennifer B. Wallace (about achievement culture, not specific to sports)
• Project Play's Children's Rights & Sports

If you are a like-minded coach and would like to connect, please add your feedback and resources below and/or reach out directly! (Hazen Sewell, hazendss@gmail.com)